Get to Know Me... While I Handle My Period

Time to Get Started

Everybody who deals with the weight of having to menstrate

We're gonna start off a little morbid. Maybe morbid isn't the right word. I'm definitely starting this blog off as a Debbie downer (I can be fun, I swear). I'm not sure how many female readers I'm going to have or if I'll have any at all. But as Shrek says, it's better out than in and that also counts when it comes your emotions.

You see, I'm on my period. That good ole menstrual cycle that shouts "boo! You're not with child!" On top of being uncomfortable for a week out of the month, you may get a ginormous visit from depression, doubt, anxiety. Pretty much every emotion you'd overall like to avoid. This month I am absurdly anxious, and just sad in general.

The will to do anything but be a couch potato is strong. Which meant I needed to do the opposite. That's why we're here! In an attempt to get me out of a slump, and be semi productive. But I'm afraid the slump is strong this time around.

My heart is screaming "you're a failure, you're wasting your time". My brain is singing "why bother? You're doomed to remain in your stagnant state". Everything you would never say aloud to others because they'd shower you with useless praise and words of encouragement. You know the ones, right? That you'll be fine, that the universe or God has a plan for you. That you're good enough, and worth investing in.

Those words would hold a lot more weight, if you believed them. The problem is that I don't. I don't see growth or progress in any aspect of my life, so I disagree with those kind words. I resent them. I reject them. What good are they when all you see are the flaws you face every single day? They contradict everything you believe to be true about yourself. It's so optimistic, it's sickening.

Have you ever rolled your eyes when someone's giving a pep talk? I sure as hell have. At some point, it just becomes exhausting to hear everyone being so damn positive. Many think that uplifting words are the perfect solution, but to me, they're just antagonizing. It actually makes my mood worse. It overwhelms me. Is it just me?

Anyway, maybe that was a lot for a first post, but hopefully I reach someone. Maybe somebody relates to me. If this is a little all over the place, I know. This was literally me just spewing words onto a keyboard. I promise I'll post something more interesting. Hopefully something a bit more positive.