Finding Positivity in Unexpected Outcomes: My Journey Through Job Loss and Grief

So it's been a little while. This is gonna be me rambling more than anything, but also discussing how a couple of unexpected outcomes threw me off course before I finally decided to get back on the horse. Kind of. This is kind of going to be an uplifting, "positivity train" kind of post. As positive as it can get, at least. This is just something I wanted to put out so that maybe others can relate.

The Ups and Downs of Life

First things first, I thought things started looking up this past summer when a couple of good things started coming my way. I got out of an emotional and mental funk. I started at a new job (albeit it wasn't my favorite line of employment, it was still a job), I had a plan set in place for my future, and I could afford shit again. Hell, I invested in Sabrina Carpenter tickets! It was an amazing experience, by the way. Quick word of advice—if you can afford the concert tickets, go to the fucking concert. You won't regret it. Trust me. Anyway, things were looking up. Until they weren't.

While I was having the time of my life in late 2025, I didn't know I was going to end up right where I started. The place of employment I had stumbled upon decided to lay off an entire department. My department. I joke and say I must be the walking kiss of death because for this to happen at back-to-back jobs is as hilarious as it is sad. For some context, I previously worked at a school that was shut down because it was sold and became a charter school. So I lost that job because of layoffs too. Funny, right?

A visual of how I felt after the news

It couldn't have come at a worse time. Fucking Christmas time. A time people are supposed to be happy, grateful, and jolly became a time of desperation, anxiety, and depression. I had a lot of disdain for the job and the people, don't get me wrong. But I at least expected the place to hold me down financially for at least a year. A year so I wouldn't be broke and could look for something a little more meaningful. More fulfilling and enjoyable. But not even six months into the job, and I lose it.

Coping with Loss

Oh, and we lost our cat. That one really fucking sucked too. Left me feeling a lot lonelier than I had previously felt. That threw me off track too, and is also the reason why I haven't written or posted since October. I haven't gone through loss in a long time, so it hurt a lot. It hurt even more to see people I love hurt too. So there's a little more trauma for ya.

So now, here we are. Two weeks after the layoff, and it has been quite the emotional journey. It has mostly consisted of a lot of anger and doom and gloom. What else can you expect from someone so extremely frustrated with the circumstances presented to them? I mean, I lose a shit job I wasn't content with other than it being enough to pay some bills, and then get two of the same shit jobs right after. It sounds ungrateful, but let's put things in perspective.

The Reality of Job Loss

For those who don't know or didn't give a shit, I was working in security. The dream, right? It wasn't what I expected or wanted for myself. Getting slick comments or stupid smirks and grins from idiotic trust-fund babies or people who always brag about vacationing in Barbados, or even nepo babies. It was so infuriating that I had to work a demeaning job for a paycheck. In all honesty, I was going to use the hell out of that job and get the fuck out of there. I just wanted it to be on my terms.

Unfortunately, the universe didn't allow things to happen on my terms. Or maybe I was never meant to be in that position. That's what someone told me and what I've been trying to tell myself. But that was met with a lot of self-doubt and a helluva lot of depression. But I've kinda brushed off that feeling. Kind of. It's a lingering feeling that I don't think ever leaves when a series of unfortunate events happens.

Finding My Way Back

I'm here to get shit off my chest and hopefully make someone feel seen too. If you're at that dead-end job, I understand you. If you're broke, I feel you. If you are struggling with unemployment, then I am right there with you. You do what you can to ease some of that uneasiness. Ease into the things that you enjoy. Go back to your passions at your own pace. And the thing that I am especially bad at, accept help from those who love you. It's a dog-eat-dog world, and it's always gonna be rough (sorry about the shitty wordplay). All you can do is try your very best.

A Message of Encouragement

If no one's told you this, as corny as it may sound or be, I am proud of you. Whatever you achieve, you earned and suffered for. You got this.

And remember, it’s okay to feel lost sometimes. It’s okay to take a step back and breathe. Life throws curveballs, but we can learn to dodge them or even hit them out of the park. Just keep pushing forward, and don’t forget to lean on your friends and family. They want to help you, even if it feels like a burden sometimes.

So, let’s keep this positivity train rolling! We’re all in this together, and I believe in you.